This won't be a crazy rant: just a cautionary tale for anyone inclined to give their car a bath.

On Tuesday my wife took her '01 Ford Escape into the dealer, for the "Ultimate Wash". $200 gets you the Q-Tip treatment including full interior shampoo and engine steam-clean. It had to be done: my 4 year-old had been growing science experiments in the backseat since born, and I was none too keen to even set foot in the car anymore. Anyway, it came back ABSOLUTELY spotless. Honestly, I had forgotten that was the colour of the interior. And aside from a heavy caking of detergent residue, I was saying the exercise was a big success.

Until my wife started up the car: engine warning light comes on. One of those vague ones with the icon that's completely undecipherable. But hey: we were in the dealership parking lot... so we pop back in for the, "what's up?" No problem apparently, just a little moisture under the hood.

So off she goes, and the next morning she's heading across the upper levels and the light's still on, but now the engine's surging.  And she gets to Taylor Way when the beast stalls out completely. True to its acronym: F-O-R-D. Call to the dealership and they say bring it in. Car starts, and off she goes. Of course they have to keep it for the day because they need to book time with "the diagnostic computer" and apparently that bad boy is booked pretty heavy.

Two seabus trips later my wife picks up the car  in the evening. Verdict: "The 'nostic says bad coil #1, but when we checked the coil it was fine. We think the moisture is out of there now and you're good to go."

You can see where I'm driving at with this, right? I'll take the shortcut: car dies again, back to the dealership, more seabuses, have to order a new computer for the car, need to keep it over the weekend, sorry you won't have it to drive to the airport on Monday at 6 am, no we don't do loaner cars but we'll drive you home...

You have to laugh, right? You go to get your car washed and then it's three visits and you're sans ride for a week. Who knows if the crap wagon will even be drivable again? I just have this mental image of some kid paid minimum wage with a high-pressure water hose under the hood of our car, jamming into every little black box he can find in there. Damn: I just wanted to get the 3 year old pablum out of the seat cracks...

<sigh> 

Feb 3rd  Update

I've had to downgrade my Goodwill. We still don't have our Escape. Apparently because the computer in the car was acting up, (even though Cam Clark told us we could drive it) we drove the car for 2 days in a very rich (fuel/air imbalance) condition which caused the catalytic converter to fry. As would be expected, there are no catalytic converters for Ford Escapes to be had, so our car has rested another week at the dealership for a total of 12 days and counting. Remember: this was caused by us taking it in to be washed... 

Feb 7th Update

Holy smoke... got the call last night from Cam Clark: no catalytic converters for 2001 Ford Escapes in North America! One is going to be 'hand-made.' Production time: TWO MONTHS!!!

I'm still in shock. To the dealership's great credit (and I'm upgrading my Goodwill Rating), they're paying for the repair, and the use of a Taurus sedan for the duration. 3 months without the car from getting it washed...

Thanks for the feedback Roothorick.

May 16th Update

Would you be surprised to know we have not had our car returned to us, yet? It's true. IF and when the current arbitration with Ford Canada is settled, I will publish the conclusion to this saga. 

October Update

On the road again. To end the saga, I can confirm that we did end up getting our Escape back. Through some valuable negotiations by Cam Clark's Service department during a major reorganization at Ford Canada, we were able to split the difference on a $4,500 transmission replacement.

 Transmission?

Yes, when the catalytic converter was finally hand-forged from molten steel specifically for our fine automobile and installed, it was then discovered on the test drive that the transmission was slipping! But... only 100k kms on the... always serviced at the dealership... just had the tranny fluid replaced...

When all was said and done, the dealership stood up for us and went beyond what we expected in ensuring we got the fairest shake on this incredible journey. So despite that fact that some water pressure-happy car jockey started the problem, the dealership fixed it. I have to move my goodwill rating to the positive in the end, as we never would have been taken care of like that, from an independent detailer.

Now, would we buy another Ford product?